modesty,show off ,modesty and show off

...To be continued....

whatever I wanted to write about, the feelings , they have sunk down a little , So it will be better to sit for a while and reflect upon it rather then hitting keys haphazardly.

Parabola

In higher mathematics I have studied somewhere that the 2 arms of the parabola meet at infinity(Even if the fact is good for nothing, you are just mistaken as it has become the starting lines of my this .....(blog/writing/whatever)).

While coming home in the cab today, I saw a little girl in the car adjacent to ours playing with the scales, the Libran scales.I looked at her and at her toy with great interest, the scales were swaying to one direction and then to other.Just then that girl looked at me ,a white and a numb face, I must admit that it was a peculiar face with an unusual flair.

I was thinking hard what is so unusual about it, then it struck to me,her EYES. they were so so penetrating, pitch black,so intense that Roentgen could have used her for his X ray experiments.

hmm....I digressed from the main point.

the point was not that girl , neither were her eyes.

after seeing her, somewhere from the stacks of my memory a dialogue flashed through ,very similar to when a person gets back his "khoi hui yaadasht" in ghisi piti bollywood flick.

Someone once said to me,you live in extremes, you are never stable, either you are too happy or just completely detached. you live on the edge and blah blah....

by now you wud have guessed the gender of the speaker as well.

anyways, thats not the point either.

Neither I am the subject of this writing...

now parabola comes to the picture, the arms are definitely diverging both as the function of time and space but they meet somewhere at infinte, now drag your ass to that point and imagine the behaviour of the curve, it wud be like the alphabet 'X'-converging-meeting-diverging.

now lets come to real life sweet and sour are two extremes of taste, gooseberry i think its aanwla , most sour thing ever went to my mouth tastes sweet if u try to devour the taste(its a reality).

same can be possible for sweet as well(I dont have proofs for this one).

lets come to reel life: Christopher Nolan in his movie th dark knight, chose the joker as the bad guy.Why? joker is thought to be a person who is light hearted and fun loving, he showed the inverted form of joker in the masterpiece character.

I am sitting in this cramped bar and instead of getting drunk n wasted , doing this blog shit.

my thoughts are going haywire!!

they say a pesrson who never gets angry turns to a mad bull when he is furious.

in all the examples, i dunno why am i able to see some symmetric relationship.

u dont need a phase shift of 180 degree for getting to the other part,u can just simply walk over the circle which connects them.

good-bad,happy-sad,sour-sweet are not extremes, they are well connected by strong invisible threads which lead to each other.

keep living in extremes,u ll love it.

Canines G0 Bo!nk

I don't detest them,but definitely not too fond of them either. frankly speaking, I feel like throwing up multicolored puke just at the mere thought of sleeping with a pet,cuddling , snogging ,and letting it lick you!

ewww!!

thats disgusting(to me of course,and i dont care about others in this regard)!

some may think ,i am going haywire and just another moron giving his crap and shitless opinions!

my answer to them- "they consider it crap and shitless because they have so much to care about their pets as they are being filled with more and more crap and shit by their mute companions,so in front of all the holy droppings and poop ,its shitless,i admit!!"

i focus on the dogs,because that is the first animal that ur brainy brain generates on hearing the word pet!

why do people like dogs as their friend?

'this is the question'..well it never came to the socrates sitting in my mind until i heard robert de'niro telling ben stiller ,over their preference of pets.

i plagiarize a lot, i admit it!

and will continue to do it,as long as i can.

but howsoever dumb a person can be,his brain never fails to pop out weird questions,there is some question generating code which is trapped in an infinite loop,and its so effective that gives the ability to raise doubts on the intersection and union of both 'everything and none'.

this all general philosophy was to demonstrate my desire to further explore the dogs/bitches and their owners.

:))

dogs are great at wagging their tails and so are their masters.

when they come home dogs go lunatic and wag tails as enthusiastically as when somebody relieves itself from great indigestion.

the dog is happy coz he sees the master and the master is happy coz he gets the assurance that at least someone is there in this bloody world who likes him and is ready to take his tempers, and for a change, there is a living being who is not scared at his hideous face!

and this works fine,a symbiotic relationship!

a dog is a shallow animal,keeps on telling the world that he loves it and needs love.care and different types of blah blah blah at a continuous constant rate, if not monotonically increasing.

so is his master.

so next time when you see a hunk ,or a military uncle running with his ferocious lab,or afgan terrier, pity him for being so vulnerable.

2nd things:: when you scream at your pet dog,it never retaliates,never ever,even though if its ferocious Afghan Terrier or a dumb pug !

instead its tail goes between its legs ,its ear goes down and one can see clearly the moist eyes begging for mercy.

that is idiosyncratic for a dog , and so for the master.

so crude derivation can be inferred as the dogs are good at changing colors of emotion.

so are there masters. a dog is easy to break, and they sell their individuality with the mood blues and upswings of the master.

so a dog lover is one who likes to keep less emotionally strong beings , likes to rule, gives unnecessary air to themselves, and associate all the negativities with the dog lovers/owners.

:))

now from the two assertions its clear that dog lovers like to rule,but because they are vulnerable,they are considered to be a loser,because they try to fit two widely different ideas in their itchy skin.

well,i dont have anything against dog lovers,they can be gibberish if they want to.its just de niro who inspired me .so no 'mea culpa' here.

may be its a very cynical way of looking at things,but thats how i am ...

no issues!!

ps: i maintained a single gender throughout the writing,so female dog lovers dont be disappointed,i hate u as much as i hate ur male counterparts.

1st Feb or 2nd Feb

Don't know from where should I start.I have around 23 minutes to finish this piece of writing.

ohk...lets begin...Right now I have every reason to detest the day,but on a second note it has been one of the memorable days of my life ,inception of 2 big things.

one is quite obvious and the 2nd one is for those who know...

as they say one relation which is most greatest experience in this world is that of friendship...u are the creator ,mother-father, caretaker for this relation. u dont get it by default, u chose it urself nurture it and tend it to such a level where it becomes unnecessary to use words,it just becomes by default.

I dont understand this phenomenon on any level be it technical,chemical,psychological or philosophical.

ok......enough of this psychological crap.....

hmm the things started from aaaaaa....orkut....then a nodding ,which was proceeded by me placing my ass adjacent to the mainstream actor of the greatest mystery ever....afterall who is RAM???

as its said, that it feels like two random particles in space and time with different inertial and spatial coordinates , moving akin to a milling crowd , collide to each other like the particles do in the hadron collider.

I dont know from where did all that similarity has cropped up, I sometimes feel the alter ego part is existing.

apart from the power of eloquence and impeccable sense of humor, this was the date of birth of a waste fellow..who is indispensable.

Vodka .....

there are very few people whom u can bank upon, and there are some people on whom u wud like to bank upon....//consider this as spam.

tick the write option:

great to have ...

good to have....

must have....

20 year theory

i declare......i am not an atheist but not a firm believer of god either.here i am stepping in the shoes as abraham lincon did while signing the declaration of independence.lol!

whatever i have blurted till now is an excuse for my latest visit to the temple and that too on tuesday. lord hanuman is the the deity associated ,thats well known,and so is the fact that he is very much associated with life of bachelor and immense strength too.i wonder always why there is a milling crowd at the temples especially on this particular day.

i don't care about damn people .why i go although on rare occasions?

i dont have even iota of interest in staying bachelor throughout my life neither do i crave for immense power and herculean muscles. but still i go sometimes.

not further digressing,last time i went to temple and was distributing the offerings to the small kids who were looking dirty in their thongs and their withered hair like a wilted flower.they were noisy like hell and creating a ruckus such that even a round table conference in a group of eight will go into hiding.

suddenly a boy with running nose came forward with a scandalized look on his face and with a startled voice blurted out 'UNCLE! muje bhi de do'!!

the words came ringing to me like a devil's jackhammer ripping my eardrum and leaving me amazed. it was my turn to be scandalized and startled.

'WHAT THE HELL!!! i am not an UNCLE yet!' i thought and a female Achilles cam to rescue from me from this embarrassing situation.this savior was another small girl standing next to my tormentor....'arre !ye UNKIL nai hain ,ye bhaiya hain'. i gave her some extra sweets and chose the smallest amount for that hoodlum.

i cursed the idea of building a religious place inside a residential complex and was a zeus in fury .

on my way back home and on the stairs i tried to remember all the anti aging commercials and pledged to myself to use L'Oreal ,garnier whatever at hand ,even if i will have to steal them from my ma's vanity box.

i checked my pulse rate on reaching the top floor .

voila ! it was beating fast.

i have certainly grown old now! fish!!

next step was to scrutinize every speck of my face, every contour ,every line that have been formed during the span of 23 years.

have i developed some under eye circles?

is my skin hanging or have i got double chin sprouted magically overnight? i shuddered at the sight of a wrinkle under my eye and virtually calculated the expenditure on botox for a facelift.

now what?

i did 10 sit ups to check for any clicking or exerting sound between my bones.

well,the synovial fluid was doing its work fine.

i assured myself that i am not old enough to be called an UNCLE!!

to reassure myself further i did some head banging with good Charlotte and linkin park.

after tiring myself with such diverse and mosaic actions,i lay dead on the couch thinking about this UNCLE-AUNTY phenomenon.

i suppose there must be a gap of 20 years between the ages for anyone to called an uncle or aunty.imagine yourself in a group and you address a 35 year old as uncle.

that is a sin!

but for some 42-43 year old uncle -aunty propositions are very apt.

so the motion is seconded that around 20 year gap is a must to enter the depressing ,monotonous ,boorish world of uncle aunties.

i do remember ,when one of my an acquaintance got married,just the day before she was 'didi' for the society children and the immediate day she was 'aunty'.

i had a hearty laugh ,when she retold the incident to us.

but this McMahon range gets thinner as age increases.we cant propound an actual proof for this lemma,but it can be felt generally without losing much general nature.

imagine a 50 year old saying to a 70 year old 'aunty ji! apna bag side kar lijiye'!

thats sheer crap,and non sensical.

thus,this 20 year gap theory is just bullshit and is good for nothing.

but this topic has alluring capabilities to bind one in its vicious circles akin to a cipher.

not only this theory is humbug,it also proves that we are hypocrites too with the thinning of the distinction lines with age.

age is nothing but a number , live life king size till eternity and blah blah blah......these statements can be heard every now and then. but by and large how many of us really heed to it?

very few,one or may be none!

getting old is a stigma in the society ,showing signs of age is a sin in a derogatory manner which is implicit by the application of henna , hair dyes . alone in India its a 23 billion dollar industry.

ps: you must be thinking i am i filling you with all this irrelevant information to you and incidents.actually on scrutinizing myself i saw a bunch of grey hair standing confidently on my skull. through this i want to second the motion that age is mere a number.

powerless with the powerpoint

All the facts and incidents in the present context are true to the best of my knowledge and any relevance with anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.
The inaugural speech in 3 idiots forced me to jot down my own experience few days back.
Our dept. was celebrating the 40 years of the foundation,and the chief guest was Mrs. Meenakshi Gopinath , principal of LSR. I myself volunteered for the inaugural speech and the introduction of the guest to the audience.
I had one day to prepare ,which seemed more then enough to me, as in engineering I already had many one night battle situations in exams, so I was taking everything in the light banter and was cool enough with all the proceedings, in fact was poking my nose into other people's matter too rather then cramming the speech.
Next day was beautiful,I dint know that it was beautiful for the crows too and they will virtually devour me after the day.
S P Jain Audi was full,with all the dignitaries,guests,teachers and some lazybones students like me.
I began my speech, after the introduction  I asked for lights to be off and switched on the projector and started my power point slide showing the lifetime achievements ,her contribution for the society and blah blah blah........
It ended well and got a nice applause for the speech and the guest too was welcomed whole heatedly by all.
but the very next moment the scene took a phase shift of one hundred and eighty degrees, as I was descending down the stairs of the backstage, I saw Voldemort......!!!!!
I saw 2 of my profs. which were not less then Voldemort in their appearance, and the way they were pursing their lips,crooking their nose,they seemed more hideous to me as if the Greek goddess Aphrodite was hibernating somewhere when she created them . Here I was feeling pity for their spouses and was wishing them luck for their next lives I heard a tussle in cacophony and I heard my name too.
The very moment I was taken by arm ,man she had a nice grip, which must have been implicit for her demonic body frame.
what the heck??!!why the hell is she wasting her time in teaching electromagnetic theory to losers like us,she better need some career counselling, India is already way far behind in women grappling ,she can be a good coach,or might be a player too!! Seriously..
She came near to me and hissed like a snake .oh ! I was choked by her bad breathe.
Ewww!!!!!!
At this very moment I started hating the canteen guy 'anna' for using too much onion and garlic in his dosa and other delicacies.
Being in those thoughts,I was literally dragged from the backstage into the empty room adjacent to the colossal audi, thanx to my lean frame and the hostel food on which I was thriving for past 4 years.
HOW DARE YOU??? Came a voice behind me....
Rather then looking behind I thought 'WOW!! I dared'...'that's quite an achievement'..
Here I was celebrating my achievement , another demon landed in front of me,as he was waiting for me to be slaughtered.
HOW DARE YOU???
Don't u have a bit of courtesy that somebody has agreed to mark her presence on this special occasion and you are such a scum that you are presenting her on the power point slides.
'but sir, I spoke for few minutes too!!'
another devil snarled,Which college has awarded you the graduation degree?
'What type of school prepares material like you which lacks common sense'?
I answered them back in my heart.
they continued with their castigating and denigrating remarks and I was turning a deaf ear to them, and the first time in my life I wished for the earthquakes.
I forgot the name of the land god,if there is any,as I wanted a massive movement of earth plates the very moment.but as usually! it didnt occur !!
While they were blabbering this and that and shooting their metaphoric spears on me I started thinking of all the abuses I had learned throughout my life. Suddenly a very old word for swearing came to my mind,and I started to dissect its meaning. a faint smile appeared on my face.
'LOOK AT HIM!! NO BLOODY REGRET ON HIS FACE!
YOU WILL SEE FOR SURE.' cried the Voldemort and HOD together
I tried to fit the curve of my lips according to the situation,but it seemed to be more uncanny and jeopardized the whole scene.
I cursed myself with different hexes for volunteering.
'YOU ARE PRESENTING A LIVE HUMAN BEING ON A COMPUTER.'
At this moment I got myself another line for the essay 'technology:a boon or a bane'.
I started hating the lady too,who had assumed her so called BENIGN presence to this devil house.So what she has done so much social work or got a padamshree award for her.
It doesn't matter to me anyhow.her graceful aura tuned a pandemonium to me.
The barking of profs. went on for few more minutes and then I realized again that I am still living in a free and a democratic nation.
I skipped classes for 1-2 days and after resuming them I sat on the back benches.
Although I have always been the back bencher,but now I got a solid reason for my stance.Earlier excuses included I  have demo phobia or the chalk dust has made me asthmatic and so on.
Days ,weeks,months passed and so did my experience of that day until a week back I checked my mail box and saw a mail with a subject 'thank you for your speech'.I read it quickly she had mentioned that she was not offended by the way I used the dais for my speech and it was a new way of doing it and she expressed gratitude over my words of encouragement as they meant a lot to her.
Voila!! 'Sense of encouragement??? Did I encouraged her?'
'I don't remember exactly'.
Let it be!!
I read the mail twice. and smile appeared on my face,but this time not any prof. was present to force some curve fitting of my lips.

PS   Its not any happy ending.The profs. have continued to see me with their evil eye which surely has  magnified under the extra large glasses they use and I have got another reason for my 3 'E' and
1 ' C' grade in the examination.

muffler

Muffler