"To hell with individualism, why do you keep harping about it?" she said
"because its something I believe into"I said hesitantly and unsure of myself.
"whatever ! I dont like her" she said.
"whatever!"I said.
The snippet of the conversation is at least 5 years old.
At that time I didn't had the answer.But today I have one definitely.
I see myself, I see my friends, I see my foes and those to whom I am indifferent to.
before I say anything.One small activity, it seems to be an easy one. But you need to do it very honestly. If you are not true to yourself , then you are a second hand person . and its a sad thing .
Close your eyes, or dont close ur eyes. Its your own wish.
Think of those things , which you did in your past life and you consider them to be achievements . Howsoever small they might be, howsoever petty they seem to other people , but they mean something to you. even think of those which this world doesnt knows or havent been exposed to the world, kind of virgin.
Now , have a glance at all of them. They might look diverse from the surface but they are unified somewhere. You cant blurt out No String Attached.
Now ask yourself , why you succeeded in accomplishing them. What was the driving force ?
tick the right option
1. wanted to please parents
2. wanted fame
3. similar to above 2.
4. none of the above.
I ll tell you.If you had done the above activity honestly , then I guess you would have chosen the 4th option. even though if you dont have courage to accept it publicly.
It was driven by ego, your own ego , your own desire to succeed in whatever you undertook.
some people dont accept the fact that they have ego in them. I ll call them broke and spineless. take any example in this world , dash out any from the history, you will see it has
always been one man against the other . Socrates, Copernicus, Einstein, Napolean, Hitler, Tendulkar etc.
Why doesn't Tata stops his factories and live his life doing nothing at all. He has earned enuough to feed whole world for quite sometime .
Its his desire to excel, not in eyes of anyone, but in his own eyes. To get himself faced with new challenges everyday and presenting himself with new harder problems each day of his life.
His work is his passion.
From now on I ll talk in first person. Although its difficult but Let me try.
I am the reason behind my first person.I have an ego to cater to, which is my own.
I see all around myself successful people. Successful and talkative people.
I have always thought, why I am here and why they are up the ladder.
I am good at certain things and have knowledge, not for discourse but for myself.But I am still here.(Its lame I know, But thats me!!)
The reason is , I was good once.I have the potential. But dont have the courage.
Talking of selflessness and humanity, I think giving alms and donating to charity is very very easy. You just need to open your wallet and take some money out and give it to them.
But the real test is in standing with an idea. standing for an idea . standing for the soul which had created the idea.standing by the ideology is the greatest difficulty. No one teaches you how to stand, but yourself.
Soul is something which cant be killed.It must be broken. and it can break only if we allow it to break. when we throttle ourselves with the ideas of the society , of those of our neighbors . all of this might seem right to everyone, because thats how the society works . but society does changes, change is the law of nature.
Coming to mediocrity. mediocrity is something which will refute most of the theories. all the abstactness is falsified by the mediocrity.There are only 2 sides of a coin, heads or tails.akin to this. you are good at something, or bad at something. with practice you can be okayish at something, but that wont be you, because your real talent lies somewhere else.
I complain, My friends complain, my relatives and all of them whine that they dont love their job.
I got it today, why we don't love it, because we don't want to do it and hiding ourselves in some lame excuses . If we have the courage to stand by what we want to do, then words such as hate and love wont have any meaning.
The fact is I am not good at so called mediocrity even. In mediocrity there are layers rather then abstract sides. higher mediocre, medium mediocre, lower mediocre.
chilling out and having a break seems to be demeaning to me, coz if u really love something then you cant let it go or even think of slipping it out of u in the dreams too.
I go out to movie every weekend, not beacuse I love it, because I find the gap of 2 days difficult to fulfill.
So that I can go back to the same life of bonds and bondages again without any problems.
As Kalam has said: dreams are not something that you see while you are sleeping, they are something that dont let you sleep.
I am happy I have The Answer now!!
