20 year theory

i declare......i am not an atheist but not a firm believer of god either.here i am stepping in the shoes as abraham lincon did while signing the declaration of independence.lol!

whatever i have blurted till now is an excuse for my latest visit to the temple and that too on tuesday. lord hanuman is the the deity associated ,thats well known,and so is the fact that he is very much associated with life of bachelor and immense strength too.i wonder always why there is a milling crowd at the temples especially on this particular day.

i don't care about damn people .why i go although on rare occasions?

i dont have even iota of interest in staying bachelor throughout my life neither do i crave for immense power and herculean muscles. but still i go sometimes.

not further digressing,last time i went to temple and was distributing the offerings to the small kids who were looking dirty in their thongs and their withered hair like a wilted flower.they were noisy like hell and creating a ruckus such that even a round table conference in a group of eight will go into hiding.

suddenly a boy with running nose came forward with a scandalized look on his face and with a startled voice blurted out 'UNCLE! muje bhi de do'!!

the words came ringing to me like a devil's jackhammer ripping my eardrum and leaving me amazed. it was my turn to be scandalized and startled.

'WHAT THE HELL!!! i am not an UNCLE yet!' i thought and a female Achilles cam to rescue from me from this embarrassing situation.this savior was another small girl standing next to my tormentor....'arre !ye UNKIL nai hain ,ye bhaiya hain'. i gave her some extra sweets and chose the smallest amount for that hoodlum.

i cursed the idea of building a religious place inside a residential complex and was a zeus in fury .

on my way back home and on the stairs i tried to remember all the anti aging commercials and pledged to myself to use L'Oreal ,garnier whatever at hand ,even if i will have to steal them from my ma's vanity box.

i checked my pulse rate on reaching the top floor .

voila ! it was beating fast.

i have certainly grown old now! fish!!

next step was to scrutinize every speck of my face, every contour ,every line that have been formed during the span of 23 years.

have i developed some under eye circles?

is my skin hanging or have i got double chin sprouted magically overnight? i shuddered at the sight of a wrinkle under my eye and virtually calculated the expenditure on botox for a facelift.

now what?

i did 10 sit ups to check for any clicking or exerting sound between my bones.

well,the synovial fluid was doing its work fine.

i assured myself that i am not old enough to be called an UNCLE!!

to reassure myself further i did some head banging with good Charlotte and linkin park.

after tiring myself with such diverse and mosaic actions,i lay dead on the couch thinking about this UNCLE-AUNTY phenomenon.

i suppose there must be a gap of 20 years between the ages for anyone to called an uncle or aunty.imagine yourself in a group and you address a 35 year old as uncle.

that is a sin!

but for some 42-43 year old uncle -aunty propositions are very apt.

so the motion is seconded that around 20 year gap is a must to enter the depressing ,monotonous ,boorish world of uncle aunties.

i do remember ,when one of my an acquaintance got married,just the day before she was 'didi' for the society children and the immediate day she was 'aunty'.

i had a hearty laugh ,when she retold the incident to us.

but this McMahon range gets thinner as age increases.we cant propound an actual proof for this lemma,but it can be felt generally without losing much general nature.

imagine a 50 year old saying to a 70 year old 'aunty ji! apna bag side kar lijiye'!

thats sheer crap,and non sensical.

thus,this 20 year gap theory is just bullshit and is good for nothing.

but this topic has alluring capabilities to bind one in its vicious circles akin to a cipher.

not only this theory is humbug,it also proves that we are hypocrites too with the thinning of the distinction lines with age.

age is nothing but a number , live life king size till eternity and blah blah blah......these statements can be heard every now and then. but by and large how many of us really heed to it?

very few,one or may be none!

getting old is a stigma in the society ,showing signs of age is a sin in a derogatory manner which is implicit by the application of henna , hair dyes . alone in India its a 23 billion dollar industry.

ps: you must be thinking i am i filling you with all this irrelevant information to you and incidents.actually on scrutinizing myself i saw a bunch of grey hair standing confidently on my skull. through this i want to second the motion that age is mere a number.

powerless with the powerpoint

All the facts and incidents in the present context are true to the best of my knowledge and any relevance with anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.
The inaugural speech in 3 idiots forced me to jot down my own experience few days back.
Our dept. was celebrating the 40 years of the foundation,and the chief guest was Mrs. Meenakshi Gopinath , principal of LSR. I myself volunteered for the inaugural speech and the introduction of the guest to the audience.
I had one day to prepare ,which seemed more then enough to me, as in engineering I already had many one night battle situations in exams, so I was taking everything in the light banter and was cool enough with all the proceedings, in fact was poking my nose into other people's matter too rather then cramming the speech.
Next day was beautiful,I dint know that it was beautiful for the crows too and they will virtually devour me after the day.
S P Jain Audi was full,with all the dignitaries,guests,teachers and some lazybones students like me.
I began my speech, after the introduction  I asked for lights to be off and switched on the projector and started my power point slide showing the lifetime achievements ,her contribution for the society and blah blah blah........
It ended well and got a nice applause for the speech and the guest too was welcomed whole heatedly by all.
but the very next moment the scene took a phase shift of one hundred and eighty degrees, as I was descending down the stairs of the backstage, I saw Voldemort......!!!!!
I saw 2 of my profs. which were not less then Voldemort in their appearance, and the way they were pursing their lips,crooking their nose,they seemed more hideous to me as if the Greek goddess Aphrodite was hibernating somewhere when she created them . Here I was feeling pity for their spouses and was wishing them luck for their next lives I heard a tussle in cacophony and I heard my name too.
The very moment I was taken by arm ,man she had a nice grip, which must have been implicit for her demonic body frame.
what the heck??!!why the hell is she wasting her time in teaching electromagnetic theory to losers like us,she better need some career counselling, India is already way far behind in women grappling ,she can be a good coach,or might be a player too!! Seriously..
She came near to me and hissed like a snake .oh ! I was choked by her bad breathe.
Ewww!!!!!!
At this very moment I started hating the canteen guy 'anna' for using too much onion and garlic in his dosa and other delicacies.
Being in those thoughts,I was literally dragged from the backstage into the empty room adjacent to the colossal audi, thanx to my lean frame and the hostel food on which I was thriving for past 4 years.
HOW DARE YOU??? Came a voice behind me....
Rather then looking behind I thought 'WOW!! I dared'...'that's quite an achievement'..
Here I was celebrating my achievement , another demon landed in front of me,as he was waiting for me to be slaughtered.
HOW DARE YOU???
Don't u have a bit of courtesy that somebody has agreed to mark her presence on this special occasion and you are such a scum that you are presenting her on the power point slides.
'but sir, I spoke for few minutes too!!'
another devil snarled,Which college has awarded you the graduation degree?
'What type of school prepares material like you which lacks common sense'?
I answered them back in my heart.
they continued with their castigating and denigrating remarks and I was turning a deaf ear to them, and the first time in my life I wished for the earthquakes.
I forgot the name of the land god,if there is any,as I wanted a massive movement of earth plates the very moment.but as usually! it didnt occur !!
While they were blabbering this and that and shooting their metaphoric spears on me I started thinking of all the abuses I had learned throughout my life. Suddenly a very old word for swearing came to my mind,and I started to dissect its meaning. a faint smile appeared on my face.
'LOOK AT HIM!! NO BLOODY REGRET ON HIS FACE!
YOU WILL SEE FOR SURE.' cried the Voldemort and HOD together
I tried to fit the curve of my lips according to the situation,but it seemed to be more uncanny and jeopardized the whole scene.
I cursed myself with different hexes for volunteering.
'YOU ARE PRESENTING A LIVE HUMAN BEING ON A COMPUTER.'
At this moment I got myself another line for the essay 'technology:a boon or a bane'.
I started hating the lady too,who had assumed her so called BENIGN presence to this devil house.So what she has done so much social work or got a padamshree award for her.
It doesn't matter to me anyhow.her graceful aura tuned a pandemonium to me.
The barking of profs. went on for few more minutes and then I realized again that I am still living in a free and a democratic nation.
I skipped classes for 1-2 days and after resuming them I sat on the back benches.
Although I have always been the back bencher,but now I got a solid reason for my stance.Earlier excuses included I  have demo phobia or the chalk dust has made me asthmatic and so on.
Days ,weeks,months passed and so did my experience of that day until a week back I checked my mail box and saw a mail with a subject 'thank you for your speech'.I read it quickly she had mentioned that she was not offended by the way I used the dais for my speech and it was a new way of doing it and she expressed gratitude over my words of encouragement as they meant a lot to her.
Voila!! 'Sense of encouragement??? Did I encouraged her?'
'I don't remember exactly'.
Let it be!!
I read the mail twice. and smile appeared on my face,but this time not any prof. was present to force some curve fitting of my lips.

PS   Its not any happy ending.The profs. have continued to see me with their evil eye which surely has  magnified under the extra large glasses they use and I have got another reason for my 3 'E' and
1 ' C' grade in the examination.

muffler

Muffler

helen of sparta...

i just finished watching the movie 'Troy', and brad pitt has justified his selection of the role as achielles-the brutal warrior, treading the path of war in search of glory,to find immortality in the golden pages of history.

i had always a strong interest in reading the epic by the blind but dexterous author himself-homer...author of these well known dactylic hexameters.

but as usually,out of laziness ,i didnt bothered to drag my ass to the campus library and grope for this masterpiece in the dusty and colossal shelves,which are holding the myriad books in numbers.

well,i wont digress from the main aim further and come straight to the point.

i watched this movie,and after i finished it,i felt a desire to know more about homer, Iliad, odyssey,achielles,hector,priam and so on.....

artists are god gifted,i must declare,despite all odds and in the absence of vision ,he did something ,which by and large is still known and is considered to be one of the best in the art and literature.

as i was reading through, a thought or rather a memory just struck my mind like a meteor crossing a sky clearly. once when i was in the humanities section,i came across many books on critical appreciation of this and that book by so and so author.and i remember clearly that there were many who did saw the iliad of homer with hawk eye and tried placed those works in the genre of so called critical appreciations.

what i think and believe is that those who try to use their hawk eyes are big bunch of losers, with nothing but posing as a grey shade for the original artists.although,these critical appreciation type too have found their place in syllabus of literature studies.

they seem a decent but a futile effort.and even it risks in falsification of their own effort they did.

what i mean is that,u read a book and then try to reflect on each and every sentence and try to standardize the work by digging out metaphors,hyperboles and oxymoron.

what is the use of it?

rather then ,coming out with your own work is a better option.appreciation,selection,rejection are very relative phenomenon.its not necessary that two persons will perceive the same idea with an even eye. its somewhat very much similar to starting an illogical altercation over the best fruit in the town.

when any person tries to use its hawk eye ,then he is digging his hand inside his head pulling the thoughts out .and the democratic rights allow that person to post his ideas and supplies them to the mass ,and its very much fine to discuss the anthology of whatever one felt about the book.

but when you are forced to read it ,through some prescription in the form of a syllabus,the moment your brain stops working and somebody's else mind and thoughts now preoccupy yours and do actually smother your budding emotions about the work /literature in concern.

the better and more fruitful practice is to rather allow each and every student , to use his instruments such as eyes and brain,which by and large are remained unused under the above said circumstances.

william shakespeare will always be a bard of avon,homer will always be known for his stupendous work,r k narayanan will still have titillating humor in his stories and ayn rand will continue bragging about the stark naked individuality,no matter anyone appreciates them critically or not,they will always remain great.

a better understanding and a tribute to their work will be when you will actually start reading their mosaic creations and will drown in the ever alluring and glittering ocean of the LOGIC !!